What 2006 Will Really Be Like

- The Crazy Frog will reach number 1 again by doing a version of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. It will then die in a mysterious accident involving a mafia hit, two pounds of dynamite and a swift knighthood.
- Millions of people will flock to see Pope Pius XVI declare that Pope John Paul II is a saint. The event will be marred when, due to a typo, the former Pope is declared to be Satan.
- During the US mid-term elections many voters, annoyed by President Bush and unable to find any interesting Democrats, will vote themselves into office. The number of Senators will expand from 100 to 23,419,262 leading to a minor seating problem.
- During an unmanned mission to Jupiter a probe will discover an alien life form which believes Jupiter to be the reincarnation of a long dead singer. This will lead to an emergency session of the UN at which a censure of Israel will be disscussed.
- The price of mathematics will be calculated for the first time since records began.
- A fashion will be started for carrying oversized novelty cacti.
- Everything will remain the same, except things that don't and things that have been discounted due to boundary / perscription changes.